So here I am, sitting in the office of Horn Creek, (the only place to get internet) writing a blog for the first time in two months. I thought about writing one before this, but I just didn't know what to say. This has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life so far. The people I work with became like family within the first three days, and they are all amazing people that I love and care deeply for. I have never connected with so many people so quickly, and although I miss my friends from PA and from Nashville immensely, it is comforting to know that I have people here who I really truly love, too.
I learned last summer that living on a mountain can be lonely, but you learn a lot about yourself when you are in solitude. You see all your faults laid out before you, and you learn to deal with them. Last summer was for sure the loneliest time of my life, but I wouldn't take it back if I had the chance. God taught me to rely on him by the end of summer, but my independence showed itself again this year when I decided I didn't need help.
I was so afraid that this summer would be as lonely as last summer. I hate that I felt like I needed someone other than God (like a boyfriend) to fulfill my need for love. Thank God that He had other plans for me. I'm learning to trust Him again, to depend on Him for whatever I need. I've learned to accept the fact that when God knows it is right for me to have a relationship, He will bring someone into my life that will be just right. I don't have to look, I just have to be patient (another lesson that I'm slowly learning the hard way, like most of the lessons I learn). So, I am officially a lady in waiting.
Also, my independence has been shaken financially. I have never had a problem having a job and making my own money. I've had a job since I was old enough to get working papers. Since then, I have VERY rarely borrowed money from my parents, and have been able to buy whatever I really wanted just by saving or working some extra hours.
When I got to Horn Creek, they told us they were having financial trouble, but that we shouldn't worry about not getting paid. Later, we found out that the trouble was getting worse and we really may not be getting paid, and we had the choice to leave. When I heard that, my head just started spinning. I needed that money, I have a car payment to make (one that my parents can't afford to pay more than once, either), and gas to pay for, etc. Then this calm just washed over me. God wanted me to know that He would provide. He knows how much I worry about dumb things, and he helped me realize that this is where I'm supposed to be, whether I was getting paid at the end of the month or not.
So, we've all prayed for the success of Horn Creek, because the staff sees every day what it does for people. We have families that come to spend time with each other, urban children who have never been outside of the city, and numerous youth camps and church groups throughout the summer. The staff has decided to tell the campers our situation at the end of each week, and the response from our first family camp was absolutely amazing. God definitely provided, and he amazed all of us. Now there are things in the works that could get us through the rest of the summer, if not the next year! So now I'm just going to believe God right away when He says he will provide, because he's proven it to me time and time again.
To wrap up....God has taught me patience, dependence, and faith so far this summer. That seems like a lot, but I know its not even close to the amount of things will be taught to me by the end of the summer. I'm looking forward to it.
